What do I do when…
School says my child is fine there
“They’re fine here.” If you’ve heard it while picking up the pieces at home, you’ll know how lonely it feels. What you see is real.
Your rights
- Many children hold it together at school and release it at home. That doesn’t mean their needs are being met.
- What you see at home is real evidence, and school should take it into account.
What to do
- Keep a simple record of after-school distress, sleep and hard days.
- Share a short profile of your child: what helps, what doesn’t, and what you see at home.
- Ask what school sees at unstructured times, like lunch, breaks and moving between lessons.
- Ask for an observation by the educational psychologist or a specialist teacher.
- Agree in a meeting what everyone will watch for, and when you’ll review it.
How Aro helps
Aro turns your quick check-ins into clear patterns, like meltdowns after school, so school can see what you see.
Who can help
- HertfordshireNeurodiversity Support HubAdvice line for anything about autism or ADHD, answered by parents. No diagnosis needed.01727 833963 · supporthub@add-vance.org
- HertfordshireADD-vanceHertfordshire ADHD and autism charity: helpline, parent support groups, workshops, family coaching and EHCP support.01727 833963 · herts@add-vance.org
- HertfordshireSPACE HertfordshireFree support for families of neurodivergent children: support groups, 1:1 family support, workshops, events and a lending library. No diagnosis needed.admin@spaceherts.org.uk
- NationalNational Autistic SocietyInformation about autism, plus a national directory of autism services.
Official guidance
This guide is general information about the law in England, written by a parent. It isn’t legal advice, and every situation is different. For advice about your child, contact SENDIASS or IPSEA. Last checked October 2026.